[Edited @ 8:14pm]
Aites, this is so discouraging. First, why you wanna change back to your old embouchure when you placed so much effort in trying to change to a better one. But, its ultimately your choice anyway. Sighs. What exactly should i do with myself? :( I probably should give a damn about you right? But, can i exactly not give a fuck about you? (I CANT.) Sighs. Its so creepy when we happen to think about HPTX and i happen to know what KNK stands for. Do i really know you that well huh. Do i? No i dont...


Didn't eat anything for today. Not even feeling hungry. I think i can be 神仙 alr. Sometimes i wonder why am i doing all this? Why am i torturing myself? But i couldn't find an answer. Its not like you will happen to read this or what. Its not like there will be a second chance for me. Why. Why. I cant even find a fucking answer myself. Im like an ultimate failure please. So many things i've stopped doing. So many things.. All because of you. And till today, i still fucking love you. Fml..

[/edited]


Its 12:03pm now. Everybody is in school while I'm here blogging with my phone. I skipped school for a reason.. Not you. But I'm sure Xueli and Marvin will scold me behind my back again. Sighs. Do they even realise I'm alive? What bestfriend forever. They only remember themselves. For the past 5 days, who bothers to give a fuck about me? Sighs. I forgot my life is damn pathetic. Who cares.. I seriously miss you so fucking much. ☹ Guess I'm gonna waste another day just thinking about you...


Sometimes i cant help but wonder, who exactly can i trust? Who exactly wouldn't leave me out? Everyone in the world is moving on with their life. So fast that i couldn't catch up. I just feel like crying. There's no way i can catch up. I dont know how to catch up. I still cant accept the fact that you left. How about that? So now how? Teach me how. There isn't a place where there is no memories of you. ☹☹ I just wanna leave. I just want to get out of this fucking place. ☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹